alongcamebialy: (I used to be the king)
Max Bialystock ([personal profile] alongcamebialy) wrote in [community profile] thebackstage 2016-09-15 08:08 pm (UTC)

Max Bialystock | The Producers

[curtains up]

[This isn't his bed, it's too comfortable for that. After a few seconds, he realizes it isn't Hold-Me-Touch-Me's, Kiss-Me-Feel-Me's, Lick-Me-Bite-Me's, Yank-Me-Spank-Me's, and most certainly isn't Suck-Me-Fu...well, it isn't any of their beds.

That leaves one option, and thus, Bialystock can be seen roaming the halls with some sort of makeshift weapon. Not really so much of a weapon as he is holding the hat-rack from his room like a moron.]


Oh, Franzzzyyyy, oh Mr. Liepkindddd~! I know you're mad at Maxy Waxy about your play-e way-e, but you can't just kidnappp a famous produceeeerrr~

[the petty pace]

[Max Bialystock is a man of wealth and taste, who eats the finest foods and bangs only the richest senile old women. So when he comes down to the kitchen in his regal red bathrobe and starts going through the cabinets, he's pretty disappointed in the selection.]

Canned foods, let's see what we've got here! Mm. Oysters. Oil. [immediately groaning] Oy vey.

[cue music]

[So, all the murders might be getting to Max juuuusssttt a little bit. and a tune starts

Just watch them plot their schemes and plan for the slaughter,
I know exactly what I'll have to do,
It's undeniable, these guys are liable
And if I don't do something than I'll be the one who is dead...

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