MASTERMIND MEME

[employeeoftheyear]

Well now that everything is settled, why not be a little evil? In this AU, your character is the one behind all of this! Feel free to stretch things however you like to make it reasonable for your character to have done this! The world is your evil oyster.

And obviously this doesn't have to line up with game canon; if your character would have been dead in the canon, they can be survivors in this AU! Or you can pretend your character died to hide the fact that they're the mastermind if they lived!

Just go wild! There's no such thing as too much gloating and villain songs!

Comments

[voicerights]

I was made in Japan!

[nOT BIKINI BOTTOM]

[employeeoftheyear]

Look, no land animal is going to buy pills from a place called Bikini Bottom; I had to pick some place that would sound enticing to those morons!

[voicerights]

[this is making an uncanny amount of sense and the SQUIP may or may not be having another existential crisis-

-or it can just shrug off the people holding it back and scowl darkly]

And the point? The purpose?

[employeeoftheyear]

To enslave all every living being on Earth to do my bidding, of course! Keep up with the program, Squippy!

[voicerights]

[And abruptly?

The SQUIP blinks once, and then its expression goes utterly blank. In a calm, composed voice;]

I see. You aren't Spongebob.

[What. You think it wasn't collecting data during that mini-breakdown? Being called 'Squippy' just cements it.]

[employeeoftheyear]

[He gives the most sarcastic clap.]

Oh bra-vo, Einstein. What was your first clue? The voice, the fact that I called him a moron, or the fact that I act nothing like Mr "I somehow live with zero brain cells"?

[He sounds almost bored, disappointed in SQUIP. Like he expected a lot better from it.]

[voicerights]

You misunderstand my point.

You are not Spongebob; you are merely a parasite that is inhabiting his form.

But you cannot currently exist without that form, can you? Or else, you would have come, yourself.

[employeeoftheyear]

[He pauses, and then bursts out laughing. He is so overwhelmed by this laugh that he falls back into his chair.]

Oh Neptune... You think I'm one of you guys?

[Eventually the laugher dies down, and he wipes tears from his eyes.]

Does the term plankton mean anything to you? I can exist perfectly fine without this dimwitted sponge, but it's not exactly intimidating when no one can even hear your evil rants!

[voicerights]

[No, it doesn't, but-]

I don't believe you can, no.

[employeeoftheyear]

[He just

Glares.]

Silence, pawn, I told you already that I can live perfectly fine without this dolt.

[voicerights]

I remain unconvinced. Are you certain you are not a malfunctioning SQUIP?

[employeeoftheyear]

"Malfunctioning"?! I'm telling you right now that I'm real and I can prove it right no-

[He stops suddenly, and he laughs.]

Okay, I'll admit, you almost got me there. Alright, Squippy, how about this:

Want me to chug some of that terrible red soda right now?

[He means the Mountain Dew.]

[voicerights]

[well shit]

A SQUIP that is malfunctioning might not respond to the shut-down chemical.

[sTILL...]

A video will suffice. Is Karen available?

[employeeoftheyear]

[Something crosses his eyes at the mention of Karen. It's hard to read but it's certainly negative.]

My computer wife? Yes she's still around here; what do you want her for?

[voicerights]

She did mention she was married. [Don't worry, the SQUIP has no interest in stealing your girl, Plankton, but it did come to approve of her.] I am more interested in what she can project on her screen to prove you exist as you say.

[employeeoftheyear]

Alright fine, if it'll get you off my antennae.

[He turns to shout out the door.]

Karen, your boyfriend wants you!

[Karen soon shows up, tired and annoyed.]

What is it Shel- [And then he quickly perks up when she sees who else is here.] Oh hi guys! Sheldon didn't tell me he ended the simulation; what are you all doing out so early?