a little kink [the It's Curtains kink meme]

[stagemanagers]

shamelessly ripped from the Dangan Roleplay kink meme

GUIDELINES/RULES:

• All requests- smut, fluff, gen, or otherwise (alternate murders, anyone?)- are welcome so long as it's about It's Curtains. Fic and art fills are all good.

• This is for all rounds of It's Curtains. Intermingled cast requests ("what if so-so and so-so from this and that round met?") are acceptable.

• Stay anon because it's funner that way.

• Use proper trigger/content warnings for sensitive and/or offensive subjects, just like you would in a game proper. If you don't, it will be deleted.

• This is a judge free zone; however, be mindful of character ages, esp. in regards to the younger characters.

• If you do not want your character to be involved with the smut or things that make you uncomfortable please contact me. A list is being prepared to remind everyone.
• Respect player wishes if they ask to not have their character be in smut, or anything out of their comfort zone. Again, comments in violation will be deleted.

Have fun, darlings! If any rules are violated please don't hesitate to to PM this account or alert one of the mods.

 

 

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Alternate masterminds!

[(Anonymous)]

The masterminds are literally Lynny, Lepo and Lu.

The deadly L's.

[(Anonymous)]

Seymour and Billy Harris have a sad bonding time over accidentally being the cause of their crushs' deaths back home.

[(Anonymous)]

"I still don't think I deserve this." Seymour nervously flips the pages of his botany book without actually reading anything. "With, with Winslow and everything. I mean, I loved Audrey, I love Audrey, but all I can think of is how I let her down. Her and the whole rest of the world."

"But mostly her, right." It's not a question to Billy. He sighs and shakes his head, stirring his third cup of coffee. "I know. Penny, I -- the guy she was with was bad for her, but he only did it to upset me, and I'm the one who couldn't just talk to her. She'd still be alive if not for my stupid mistakes. Anna knows that, and she was still kind enough not to leave, to tell me it's okay and I'm not that person and I can do something to help us now."

Seymour looks up, but can't bring himself to do it for more than a few seconds. "Do you think I can?"

"You have." Billy pats his friends hand with a sad smile. "I don't know if anything I've done is enough, but if it is, then it's enough for you, too. Winslow definitely believes in you. The rest of us do, too."

Seymour startles before a slow sigh. "I hope so."

[(Anonymous)]

Billy and Anna invite everyone to Arendelle to celebrate the birth of their first child.

Everyone but one person, that is. And Leading Player, being herself, shows up anyway and decides to show them just what they get for spurning an omniscient narrator.

Basically, Leading Player pulls a Maleficent. The nature of the curse is up to Author!Anon.

Bonus: Balladeer can't completely counter LP's curse, but he does his best.

Double Bonus: in an attempt to try to make the curse not come true, he offers to raise her. Anna and Elsa are less than thrilled about who he'll be coparenting with, but for whatever reason it's for the good of the baby.

[(Anonymous)]

No matter how many years it had been, the gathered Cast members all knew that the music that interrupted Anna's speech couldn't be anything good. The crowd behind them parted, people gaping up to see a woman in a suit descending from the ceiling on a rope that was definitely not there before. She gave a laugh and shook her head.

"Now this show can really get started."

"You! You can't be here." Anna stormed forward from her podium as the others moved at once.

The Leading Player raised a hand and blocked five magical attacks, seven bullets, and a death ray.

"Come on, sweetie. You really think that, after I brought the two of you together, you're going to leave me off the guest list?"

"Don't give me that." Billy (Arendelle, of course) growled, one hand near the baby in a bassinet by the podium. "You think we'd let a monster like you near our child? Or anyone?"

"Now, now. We've been over this. I'm a very busy narrator, but you still need to know not to cross me." A puff of fog and she was on the other side of the bassinet. With a smirk, she snapped her fingers.

Nothing seemed to happen, but shivers ran up all the cast members at once. Elsa was the first to move; she'd only heard the stories, not seen the woman in action. Her glare followed a spread of frost around her feet.

"What did you do."

"Nothing now." The Leading Player whipped her cape around herself. "But you might want to watch your niece in the future. Let's just say I've got her on a reserve list the second she hits maturity clause age. Fair is fair. Now I have a casting call to oversee, something about a space station."

Before anyone could lunge at her, she was gone. Elsa's frost melted, Anna turned around and ran to the child, and Billy dropped to his knees.

"No, this, no..." he muttered, shaking his head.

"I think I can help."

Billy's voice coming from behind them wasn't a shock anymore, it could only be the Balladeer. The small family clumped at the bassinet all turned to look at him, his boyfriend standing a respectable distance away and not looking at them (just respectable, after the whole attempted murder thing).

"You can? With, with your narrator powers, right?" Anna gave a pleading look.

The Balladeer gently reached for the baby, who tilted her head and grabbed at his finger. He sighed.

"I still don't have the kind of handle on these powers that she does, and she's probably already planned for this." He took a deep breath and concentrated. "I'm going to try. Even if she has to end up somewhere, it doesn't have to be there."

Billy forced his head up through the shock. "You mean, send her somewhere safe instead of one of those shows?"

The Balladeer gave a nod. "I think if I do this... I can't fully keep her here, or I don't see a way to. But I have something. If I can bring the crack jamjar back into style, like it was ten years before our show, your baby could go there instead of a murdergame. The only danger she'd be in would be finding underwear growing on trees or having a week where everyone sees one another's icon keywords."

Anna screwed up her face. "You're sending babies into jars of jam?"

"...remind me to explain later."

[(Anonymous)]

Natalie finally goes to see Hime and Astarte at the embassy. Hilarity ensues as she discovers that the weird magical girl squad was actually telling the truth about the stuff that happens to them.

"My whole life is surrounded by death." Balladeer, Immortality

[(Anonymous)]

So the Balladeer is Round 1's new Omniscient Narrator/Guardian Angel.

What if that omniscience comes with the side effect of immortality? His cast- his friends are scattered all across time and space, and they're all beautifully, woefully, mortal.

Give me something bittersweet, with B realizing that every time he visits they're getting older. Or maybe he's started noticing some silver at Hans' temples or some smile lines around his eyes, while he himself looks exactly the same.

Or maybe the first time someone passes on of natural causes. Or maybe the last time. Does he sing their stories, preserve their legacies, keep them alive in spirit by remembering them? Not as they were in their own shows, but as they grew to be in his, and the stories that they wrote for themselves afterward.

[(Anonymous)]

I wrote this on my phone so I hope there aren't any weird typos. Also it became super Hansadeer but whatever it's midnight and I'm posting it. But this prompt is honestly so good everyone should write it, don't let my shipping stop you.

-------

The Balladeer notices it in Hans first. Time. Without an anchor to the narrative like he has it was only a matter of time before his age began to show. Silver begins to dust his temples, and though Hans still enjoys the way the Balladeer can choose whatever eye color he's feeling that day, the attention also draws him to notice the wrinkles gathering around his eyes.

"They make me look dignified," Hans jokes, well aware that it's been a long time since anyone besides Winslow called him otherwise. Even Arendelle allowed him back nowadays, so long as the Balladeer remained by his side. And when didn't he?

"Don't worry about it so much. Billy looks practically the same too, your actor must age really well," Hans reassures him. Eventually the Balladeer couldn't keep lying to him. He explained it as best he could, about actors and works of fiction and they'd spent enough time together that Hans sort of gets it. He doesn't see, of course, he can't see his words as text or feel the narrative shift in tone when the Balladeer finally realized what that means.

It's hard to keep track of dates and times when you exist outside of it. Hans is good at that, at least. Two years since they last visited Paris, one year since Chicago, four months since they were last in Arendelle. Time only passes because Hans seems to say so. The Balladeer knows he could show up before, or after or anytime they wanted (they are essentially time traveling, he explains, and Hans nods. He read something like it in the library.) That was almost twenty years ago. The library, but they've been to so many different worlds and seen so many things that Hans knows better than to doubt what he can see.

"You don't look a day over twenty." Hans smiles at him. Of course, The Balladeer never looked twenty for as long as either of them have had stories. He won't look a day older even after they are finished. They're already off-book, existing in stories and what-ifs:

In one, Billy and Anna's children call the Balladeer Uncle Bal, and ask him how he stays so young, now that they're older. The Balladeer responds that he is simply a wizard. It sounds a lot nicer than saying he is simply a narrative device who exists so long as he can tell a story.

"You'll always have a story to tell," Hans laughs, still catching his breath bring chased out of Seymour and Winslow's house in a pointless chase. (Even after 30 years the two of them still cannot get along.) The Balladeer would say Seymour is a saint for putting up with them, but then there's the whole alien plant thing, so it's not a perfect metaphor.

Billy, of course, seems to want to study the phenomenon. A serum to give him a taste of mortality. The Balladeer considers it. Maybe in a different prompt, he could do it. Or he could snap his fingers to match his appearance to what Billy looks like now, royal and regal, ruling Arendelle by Anna's side. He'd grow old with Hans, still enjoy their adventures till the wear of old age slowed them down.

But he doesn't. They had so many happy endings. This one calls for something bittersweet.

Time stops for no one, unless you've defied the narrative. Even then, it catches the Balladeer by surprise. Hans was too young to die... wasn't he?

"You have no control, who lives, who dies, but you can tell our story." Hans says to him on his deathbed, weak grip tight around the Balladeer's hand. They're not his last words (those are intimate, meant only for him, so he won't be sharing them,) but when he passes, the Balladeer knows he will keep them to heart. It's a catchy song, for all that it makes everyone who listens to it cry.

"I won't forget them. Any of them. Or you," he says for your benefit, or perhaps for some closure. Hans had told him he could do more than narrate, but narrating is what he's good at. It's why he remains when the others all continue to die all around him. His life is surrounded by death.

But he'd tell their story, share the memories and reread their posts. Maybe even update TVTropes. The characters that had so changed his existence will not die in obscurity here. He'd make sure they will live on. In kink memes, fourth walls, and whenever the crack jamjar or r2 came along. But until then, he already knows he can't wait to see us all again. It's only a matter of time.

And yeah, Hamilton references. The ultimate prize had to stay relevant somehow, right?

[(Anonymous)]

So what were the Leading Player and the amnesiac Balladeer doing backstage for all of Week 7?

[(Anonymous)]

"God, my head is killing me today."

The Leading Player looks up at the Balladeer, smiling a little at the faint thump as his forehead meets the refrigerator. So dramatic! She can appreciate it. "Well! We can't have that." She unfolds herself and rises from her chair, grinning at the way his eyes instantly snap around to her. It's good to have him look at her that way again, now that there’s no more pesky distractions.

She could snap her fingers and fix his head right up, of course. It shouldn’t be hurting anyway; Charlemagne always gets over dying quick. But narrating the problem away just doesn't feel as satisfying. Not in this case.

"Come here, sweetheart." She reaches up to rest her hand on his cheek. His brow furrows – he's unused to touch again now that she’s edited out the show - but he leans slightly into her, warm skin pressing against her palm. Her grin widens.

Lacing her fingers with his, she leads him into the break room and sits on the couch, coaxing him to lay his head in her lap. He's a little awkward about it, but he doesn't question her; he trusts her again, and the knowledge fills her with an unfamiliar warmth. "You've just gotta take it easy, baby," she purrs, carding her fingers through his hair as he settles. "It's no wonder you're stressed out, going through something like you just did. Actors can have that effect on anyone. But you just relax now. I'm gonna take care of you."

And she has, hasn't she? This whole time. Even when he would have torn his own role to bits, she took care of it. Maybe she acted a little out of anger, but it was all for his own good anyway. Things like them should know better than to go off-script.

Will she let him finish out the show? She hasn’t decided. It would be so good, she thinks, if it went well – the idea of watching a successful Grand Finale with the Balladeer at her side sends a little jolt of anticipation through her. Ooh, that would be something to remember! But can she trust him that far?

She keeps stroking his hair, fingertips kneading firm little circles on his scalp. His eyes have already fluttered shut, and his breathing has slowed. The Player traces her fingernails over the sensitive spot near the nape of his neck, drawing a shudder and a hum of surprised pleasure from him. “That feels really good.”

“Good, good,” the Player croons. "Hush, now." She repeats the motions, kneading and pressing, until his breaths come slow and deep. He doesn’t flinch when she slides her hands down to circle the back his neck; he’s near-boneless under her grip, even as the knots she runs her thumbs over remind her of the tension in their last song. He moans a little as she works at them, smoothing the last remnants of their fight away.

She doesn’t understand what the cast did to make him turn on her. She thought if anyone would understand why a show has to go the way it's supposed to, it’d be him. Sure, she’d had Hans keep an eye on him, but she never thought he’d break character mid-performance! She thought she knew him well, after the time they’d spent. He'd been anxious for days after she rescued him from Assassins, anxious and excited and sticking to her like an overeager puppy dog. It wouldn't have been any good to bring up the new show with him like that, so they'd just - well, done this. Sat together. Talked. Watched a few movies. The Player so rarely does anything that isn't part of a show; it had been…an unusual little interlude. Not bad, maybe. Not bad at all.

Now, when they're like this, sometimes she can’t help but look down and see the mess her bullet reduced his head to. It was no big deal. He was good as new in minutes. But...it still comes to mind sometimes. She presses into the tense muscles of his shoulders, putting some strength into it, her lips curving as she coaxes another, lower moan out of him. Look: look how much better this is.

Soon, he’s as relaxed as she’s ever seen him. His head lolls a little against her thigh, lips slightly parted, breathing softly. She can’t quite tell if he’s even awake; he doesn’t move when she skims her fingers over his forehead, just about where she knows the shot hit him. For a moment she lingers there, lips pursed thoughtfully. Then she goes back to threading her fingers carefully through his hair, singing quietly, just loud enough for them.

Just for this moment
As long as you're mine
We’ll be how we’re meant to
And make this theatre shine
I’ll share the spotlight
Until it is through
And then, who can say what we’ll do?
As long as you're mine...

Her hands still, and the Balladeer shifts a little, voice slightly slurred with sleep. "What is it?"

"It's just..." She paints her smile back on and leans over to plant a kiss on his forehead. For the first time, she feels...something. But what's she got to worry about? Once this show is over, she won't make the same mistakes. She won't let everything go wrong again. "...it’s nothing, baby. Go to sleep."

Eliza/Javert/Valjean

[(Anonymous)]

aka surprise kids you have two French stepdads

dark kink meme give me the scandalous domestic polyship

(or if you want to go the smut route Eliza exasperatedly dealing with these two repressed old French virgins)

+1

[(Anonymous)]

This is everything I didn't know I wanted

Hansadeer, shameless smut

[(Anonymous)]

Hans may not have a crown but he can still realize his true destiny as king of the power bottoms

[(Anonymous)]

Give me a character or characters reacting to kink meme.

[(Anonymous)]

Anna and D-ne discuss being uncomfortably attracted to LP.

[(Anonymous)]

I need interaction between the Balladeer and Mailbox from Dangan Ronpa: Nick vs CN. They can cope with their traumas together over pancakes.

[(Anonymous)]

Sadly not Balladeer and Mailbox specifically, but cross-game interactions?...

--

Every week at 5 o'clock sharp, somewhere in the multiverse, a group comes together with one common goal: to understand and work through their issues. For three years and counting, they have met, their group slowly getting larger.

Now, behold as the newest meeting of Murder Masterminds Anonymous convenes, once more...

--

"Right, right, ok." Clicking the pencil in and out, in and out, Donnie Maybeck looked around at the chairs and its occupants inside the small office. "So, uh, I'm gonna start this meeting by letting Monaka make an announcement, like she requested. Monaka?"

The group looks over to the wheelchair with the skeleton in it, the tag "Monaka" pinned to it. The skeleton looks left, then right, then holds up a sign.

""

"Ah, excellent~!" At this, Junko clapped. "Now you won't be a soulless skeleton anymore. You'll just be soulless! I love it!"

"Junko." Donnie frowned. "We talked about this. Armor piercing an inexplicably alive friend to induce despair is bad."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Junko waved him off. "Look, seriously, I'm totally happy for her! She still has her body to reconstruct, too, yeah? So she shouldn't feel ashamed no matter what she looks like."

"Yes, let's talk about your 'body'." Across from her, Lysandre rolls a chip from the snack table between his fingers. "You realize you're starting to glitch again, right? I believe you promised us that you would keep yourself charged properly--"

"Anyway." Donnie sighed. "If we want to talk about body image post-Mastermind death and life this session, its fine. We can. But there are two more announcements I need to make."

"Oh?" From his seat, Mettaton crossed his legs. "Do tell."

"First, we're going to meet at Pizza Planet for our pizza party-"

"I notice Ginti isn't here to get the instructions on how to get there."

"--Yeah, yeah, I know, he hates pizza." Donnie looked at the group. But you guys majority ruled for it...can't imagine why..."

"I can't help but agree with him. If it were me," Kimblee rubbed his fingers together. "I'd take us someplace decent."

"SECOND announcement." Why was Donnie subbing again? He had no clue, aside from being asked by Mickey to chair the thing while he was gone helping to fight...another Mastermind in another iteration, apparently. Not of a murder game, but apparently Xehanort is just that bad. "It looks like we're going to get a newcomer to the meetings." Maybeck started when he heard the knock. "Oh, that must be--"

He didn't even get a chance to finish, before suddenly, music began blaring out of nowhere, causing Maybeck to jump out of his seat. The door swung open, revealing the Leading Player, dressed in a revealing black suit, top hat and cane in hand.

"Geez Louise-!"

"Hello," the Leading Player smiled at everyone as she rolled the hat onto her head. "My fellow Masterminds."

Well look who we have here!

"No," Maybeck waved his hands. "No no, please don't-!"

HA!
Its the Pokemon guy - Lysandre!
I see two of you from Trustfell,
And at least one of you who should be in hell-

With a snap of her fingers, fire-themed confetti starts falling from the ceiling. The other Masterminds could only stare, mouths open in shock at the audacity - with Junko starting to drool - as the Leading Player continued her song and dance routine. The lights dimmed, and a spotlight shined on her.

Let's get this show started!
Who cares what the players say!

"...I am in love." Mettaton's eyes widened. "Those legs...so perfect for dancing...!"

Donnie groaned as the Leading Player proceeded to toss her hat right onto his head with a wink in his direction. This was going to be a long meeting, he realized, as he got his whistle ready.

Again, why did Mickey tell him to fill in again?

Billyanna, Billy is a delicate flower

[(Anonymous)]

Billy's first winter in Arendelle, in which he is completely unprepared for Norwegian winter because he is a wilting LA flower

[(Anonymous)]

"It isn't that cold," Anna says, bringing in more blankets but still smiling all the while. "The water hasn't even frozen over yet."

Billy pokes his eyes out from an impenetrable cocoon of blankets and coats. "Easy for you to say," he says, or something muffled that's sort of like it.

She tugs down the blanket layers in front of his face -- easier said than done, but she is pretty strong -- and taps his nose gently. "Really, it's going to get a lot colder than this. I know your world had artificial heating and you lived someplace sunny and warm, but what'll you do if there's snow on the ground?"

"If it ever snowed a single flake in LA," Billy sighs, "the entire city would shut down and rise into a frenzy with everyone for themselves. You can't fault me for needing some time to adjust."

Anna drapes over the Billy-cocoon and snuggles him. "Mhm. Are we going to need more blankets?"

"Maybe another twenty." He laughs and leans into her. "Maybe not. This isn't so bad."

[(Anonymous)]

after joking about it in the plurks, I need Raoul/Kristoff like burning. here's a prompt:

Christine lit off with the Phantom after endgame and Raoul, depressed and heartbroken, ends up in Arendelle trying to cheer up with his murdergame friends. He and Kristoff meet in ridiculous circumstances and end up in a relationship. Bonus points for Raoul having an "OH NO HE'S HOT" moment.

No smut please, just make it fluffy and hilarious.

[(Anonymous)]

This didn't come out very funny and you probably wanted Raoul's POV so I'm sorry..... have a lot of Kristoff feelings instead pls forgive me but hopefully you like Meet Cute

--

No one remembers Kristoff, at least that's how it felt since Anna was found, with a whole bunch of weirdos in tow. They're an odd group of people, but from what Kristoff picked up, they'd been through a lot together. And he's not exactly one to talk, he was raised by trolls, so compared to most folks in Arendelle, they're alright.

Kristoff isn't even all that broken up about the break up thing. They hadn't even made it to the official "dating" phase anyway, and the time he'd spent alone in Anna's absence was a nice reminder of how much he liked being generally alone. (There's a reason people think he's kind of a weirdo, but he's okay with that.) A princess was kind of above his pay grade in the first place, and Kristoff has better things to do than pine over a girl he'd gotten goo goo eyes for.

His family doesn't take it super well, but their people skills are actually worse than his so he ignores them when they suggest "getting the groom out with a broom" or any number of colorful rhymes that amount to murder, kidnapping, or murder. Seriously, trolls? Surprisingly okay with the whole murder thing. Kristoff, not so much.

He's still Ice Master and Deliverer, so he still visits the castle weekly. It's... only a little awkward. Anna's boyfriend Billy is kind of a twig, but he doesn't stink of posh lies and fake smiles the way Hans did. That's a win. Even if he seems to think Kristoff wants to deck him half the time. Which he doesn't. (But to be fair, Kristoff hasn't corrected him.)

Things become normal, though. Routines are routines and even with royal parties he's still invited to and festivals every few months, Kristoff gets used to being the weird mountain man again.

It doesn't change until the wedding. These things always happen at weddings, don't they?

Technically, or at least according to Anna, they got married when they were kidnapped, but a Royal Wedding is a big deal and Kristoff isn't big on the specifics but he's pretty sure Elsa made Billy court Anna before going through with everything. Or maybe they just wanted to wait, who knows? (Dodged a bullet there, either way.)

But a wedding requires ice. Lots of ice. (And as much as Elsa's ice is great for decorating, it also doesn't melt which isn't always what they need.) But all that ice means carrying ice back and forth on his sled, up and down the mountain, even as guests are arriving to Arendelle from far and wide. Which is honestly kinda fun when you get into it, he and Sven have a system.

The system does not include crashing into handsome, charming princes.

"Hey, look out!" Kristoff pulls on his reins and yells for Sven to stop before he runs the prince with his sled. What was this guy doing, standing in the middle of the road, spacing out?Does he look kind of sad? And why's Kristoff worrying about that when he has a sled to stop?

"I said, move!" He yells as veers into a hairpin turn to avoid braining the guy. It's a close call, and the pavement doesn't keep Sven from sliding off into a cart and sending their ice everywhere, but at least they didn't run the guy over.

Yay.

It isn't until the whole mess is over and Kristoff is rubbing a sore spot on his elbow when the guy seems to take notice of what just happened. Dude must be going through some stuff. Kristoff would sympathize if he hadn't just dropped most of his ice on the ground thanks to him.

"Goodness! My apologies, I did not see you there at all!"

Obviously. But besides roll his eyes, Kristoff doesn't respond. He's too busy trying to make sure all his ice blocks are accounted for.

"You must allow me to aid you," the prince says. Hilariously enough, he bends down to pick up one of the large, heavy ice cubes. With his bare hands. Yeah, that's not a good idea.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you..." Kristoff starts, but the guy in question seems unperturbed. "Please. I insist," he responds. It takes him a bit to get the ice up and over his shoulder, but he's strong enough to at least dump one back in Kristoff's sled. Hey, he'll take all the help he can get, even if lifting one of these ice cubes is a walk in the park for him. They manage to get all the ice back in no time at all. It's enough to make Kristoff smile.

Somewhere in Raoul's narration, Raoul is having his "OH NO, HE'S HOT" moment. Kristoff is pretty built, if you're into that sort of thing. --B

"Thanks for that." Kristoff says, wiping his forehead with his sleeve. Now comes the awkward part. Does he ask him why he was spaced out? It's probably none of his business. Last time he got wrapped up in people's business it didn't end all that well, but it wasn't all that bad, either.

"Um. Are you here for the--"

"Will you be attending the--"

They each laugh, having started their questions at exactly the same time. "After you," the prince says calmly. I mean, he looks like a prince. The smile he gives Kristoff seems pretty princely.

"You're here for the wedding, right?" Kristoff isn't really one for small talk, but he did him a solid. He's at least learned enough manners not to cut and run. Plus, this guy seems pretty alright.

"I haven't seen you around, I'm... I'm Kristoff. And this is Sven." And because he's Kristoff and there's absolutely nothing wrong with this, he raises the pitch on his voice to add Sven's own greeting. "Nice to meetcha."

There's a pause.

Then the guy laughs. Oh, good, he doesn't think Kristoff's weird or anything. He nods. "Yes, I am one of Anna's guests for the wedding. The pleasure is all mine, Monsieur Kristoff. Monsieur Sven," he offers them each a slight bow of his head. He's definitely a prince.

"Viscount Raoul de Chagny, at your service, monsieurs," he smiles radiant at the end on his French. He also has a nice smile. Wait, what?

But, oh. A viscount. (Whatever that means.) It's probably important, but Kristoff has never cared too much for etiquette. Reindeers and trolls don't really do that kind of stuff. He's probably doing this all wrong.

Thankfully, Raoul saves him from digging himself any deeper in his doubts. Sven would be eating his hat by now if he had brought it with him. Get it together, Kristoff.

"Would you... That is to say, if it is not too presumptuous to ask, but you are attending the wedding as well, are you not?"

Kristoff nods, which makes Raoul's eyes light up again. It's nice. Kristoff's still holding Sven's reins and they're both still standing in the middle of the street, but Kristoff smiles back. His stomach does a weird thing and his heart sped up, when did that happen? And then he starts babbling.

"I, uh, yeah, I'm-- delivering the ice. For the wedding. I mean, not the ice, Queen Elsa has that part pret-ty covered, but Anna's fiancé said something about magic ice cubes being a health hazard so it's Royal Ice Deliverer to the rescue!" He stops himself from sounding too excited. Oh, god, why won't he stop talking. Sven, help him.

"...Which is to say, uh, me. That's me." He gestures towards his sled and his reindeer, perhaps a little more nervous than he's felt in a while. Behind him, Sven rolls his eyes. Is there something he knows that Kristoff doesn't?

Raoul's smile only deepens. It's only then that Kristoff notices that the previous ones hadn't quite met his eyes. That's too bad, but this smile is way better.

"Well, I would be remiss to attend such festivities by myself." And that's surprising. A guy like Raoul has trouble getting a date to a wedding? What, does he have weirdly pear-shaped feet, too?

"Would you care to join me, Monsieur Kristoff? As my... what is the term they used..." He pulls an invitation out of his satchel, just like the one Kristoff had stuffed in his jacket pocket. He still hasn't decided if he's actually attending attending. He and Anna didn't really date for that long, so would it be weird? He's not sure.

"Ah, yes! Here it is." Raoul seems very pleased with himself at the find. He slides his finger over the card until he finds the words he was looking for.

"My 'plus one,'" he reads. "Would you care to join me? I am not certain of what the practices are for pets in the castle, but perhaps Monsieur Sven could join us as well..."

"Yes!" Boy, that sounded way more excited than he meant it to be. Sven laughs behind him. Shut it, Sven.

"I mean, uh, yes. Sven's not my pet though, he's more like..." His brother? "My best friend. But he's got a spot in the stables, he was never gonna go to the party anyway." Kristoff brings his palm up to his face, lowering his voice as if to whisper behind Sven's back. "He's not really the best dancer. All hooves."

Man, whatever these people went through when they were kidnapped, it must have been crazy because this Raoul guy doesn't even bat an eye at Kristoff's brand of weirdness.

"Excellent! Then it shall be you and I! The others will be just as charmed to meet you, I am certain." He says instead, clearly excited by the prospect of going to a party with a guy he just met that day. Maybe he's kind of a weirdo.

That's okay, Kristoff's kind of a weirdo, too. "Yeah, I guess so." Kristoff sighs, a little relieved. "Raoul, right? Listen..."

Should he tell him? About being Anna's ex and kind of already knowing everyone in the castle? He should probably tell him.

"Yes?" comes Raoul's swift reply. He's definitely going to tell him. Later. First...

"I, uh. I need to get this ice to the castle first. It's gonna melt out here."

"Ah, my apologies--" Raoul nearly trips over himself getting out of the way. Kristoff laughs, shaking his head and getting back on his sled.

"Hey, it's no problem." Why does he always fall for the clumsy ones? "I'll see you tonight?"

"Absolutely." Raoul nods. Kristoff smiles in return and sets off towards the castle. He wasn't sure how this day was gonna go when it started, but he has a feeling tonight is gonna be pretty fun.

He's got a good feeling about it.

[(Anonymous)]

In trying to figure out how Bal's powers work, Billy develops a B-serum that has certain... side effects. Normal characters were not made to be one with the meta.

Or alternatively Billy develops a serum so that the Balladeer will actually age and be more of a "normal person" (Hans certainly doesn't mind)

Ri, this prompt is for you so just go crazy (if u don't write the second one I will)

thank you for the idea plark

[(Anonymous)]

The Life of Natalie Arendelle
Chapter 1
Part 1
Item 1

Anna should have figured something was wrong when she started hearing the voice. Not just any voice. It was The Voice. A narrator who started speaking even when no one was around. It didn't help that Anna felt like throwing up, just like with her first child. And so she suspected that she might actually be pregnant again! DUN DUN DU-

"Ok, creepy voice, please stop." Anna groaned as she leaned against the wall. "I'm going to be sick."

Can I continue after you-

"No you can't!"

~~~

Billy was super excited. A second kid? Sweet, a second kid. They were totally going to do an ultrasound to prove it, and oh geez that's cold-

"Hey, there, uh." Billy paused to look at the screen. "There she is!"

Anna looked over at Elsa, a smile on her face. However, Elsa was also staring, her eyes widening as she continued to watch the image.

"I-I-" Elsa's face paled. "Did the baby just wave at me?"

"...Holy crap it did." Billy's face also paled. "How is that even possible at this stage of development, Unle--"

He stops himself.

"...Oh."

~~~

So it turns out that maybe messing with forced beyond your comprehension is a bad idea. Who'd have thunk?

So stop me if you've heard this one. Boy meets boy, boy is a narrative device, other boy is a prince, and they get together. But narrative device wants to maybe age with his boyfriend, so the look-alike of the narrative device creates a medicine to do that. And tests it on himself. The week where he was Gandalf the Grey was really awkward, but they thought he'd gotten it out of his system.

Tuuuurns out he didn't. And...well, it kind of screwed things up with the baby he made after. Kind of. Whoopsies!

"I can't believe my baby is going to be part narrative device." If Anna's glare towards Billy could kill, lasers would be punctuating his face at that moment. "And I can't believe you didn't even think about this side effect! What do you have to say for yourself!?"

There was no way Billy was getting out of the wrath of his now very pregnant and very angry wife. So he sighed, and waited. He knew he very well deserved it, especially since, by this point, everyone in the palace could hear the child's narration of every minute detail of their lives.

The punch never came, though. The next Billy knew, he was waking up in his bed, confused.

"What the-"

The doctor hopped out of bed, realizing he was back in his old apartment. His head went left and right, his worry growing as more and more as he opened the door, revealing Los Angeles of 2008.

"Oh my god...!"

So my dad actually started out in...oh, right, sorry dad, this is a flashback...my dad was a supervillain named DR. HORRIBLE...

"Sweetheart? Can you put daddy back home?"

Not until the flashback's over!

He wasn't sure when he got back, but when he did, Anna was giving birth and reality was melting all around the...well, reality.

~~~

So Natalie was a handful. Natalie being me. Object permanence was a pretty messed up thing for me at first. Like, I knew things were supposed to be, but my baby peabrain disagreed. I actually made one couple disappear for an entire year.

Seymour and Winslow both abruptly stood in the nursery, the former letting out a silent scream, the latter looking around confusedly.

"Holy sh--neikes!!" Anna threw her arms around both of them. "There you are!! I can't believe it...you just stopped existing and now...!"

The Balladeer finally arrived soon after. He wasn't pleased with my dad. Who would have thought a rubber chicken could be such a violent tool-

~~~

...Er, did my uncle just cut me off? Whatever. I was a terrible baby. A very bad baby.

"Natalie."

B-b-bad to the bone-

"Natalie!" I was then interrupted by my mother's voice. "That's enough of this narrative flashback, young lady. You still have a room to clean, and you're going to do it properly this time. No blinking things out of existence until we leave you alone about it!"

...Shoot, they're onto me. My parents, at least. But I guess it could be worse, right, players? My uncle could be onto--

"I am, I can hear everything you're doing."

...To be continued!!

[(Anonymous)]

Balladeer is more person than narrative construct, powers aside, so he uses his stage magic so that he can grow old with Hans.

Bonus: they meet somewhere in the middle and still both get way, way more years than a normal mortal should.

Jan make me cry

[(Anonymous)]

someone tries to play wingman (or wingwoman, i guess?) for d-ne. it goes poorly.

[(Anonymous)]

excuse me ahead of time, i dont know anything about this canon

---

"Really? That's her?"

"What do you mean really?"

"I don't know. I just expected something more..."

"More what? Are you trying to say something, Heather-san?"

"I guess if that's your type---" Right as D-ne was ready to commit murder a second time, they were interrupted by a third party.

"D-ne? Is that you?" D-ne and Heather both startled- they'd been so busy bickering that they hadn't noticed that B-ko had noticed the two of them. Heather beamed, shoving D-ne forward.

"Yes! That's right, it's her! Isn't she so very?" Heather asked, gesturing proudly.

"Very--" B-ko looked like she's about to laugh- not unkindly, but it was a funny image before her. "I think you have something on your face." Something was an understatement. Heather had fully made D-ne over, Her hair was fully feathered, her cheeks bright, with neon pink eyeshadow and lipstick. In addition, it looked like Heather had somehow convinced her to wear shoulder pads underneath her uniform. "-- I'm sorry, someone's calling me! I have to go!" She stated, saving D-ne the humiliation of hearing very what.

Once B-ko was gone, and D-ne was shaking with anger, Heather chimed in. "Well! I think that went well!"

[(Anonymous)]

Okay so we have a prompt for first times and that cool, that's cool.

But give me proposals and/or weddings for the other three ships. Who asks. How. Where. Is TPK the Designated Marriage Guy? Give me the gross fluff, kink meme.

[(Anonymous)]

Winslow and Seymour get married at Didney Worl

[(Anonymous)]

anyone/everyone visits Disneyland or Disney World after Dennys. bonus if the Balladeer buys them all engraved Mickey ears.

[(Anonymous)]

It hadn't been just the three of them for a long time, so even though Jezebel was still patting the side of her head like her horns should be there, Hime had to be talked into wearing something comfortable instead of going full fashionista in a setting with constant walking, and Anna had to ask Heather for a quick makeover to make herself unrecognizable, the Princess Club was happily walking around the World Showcase Lagoon.

"This was a lot of fun!" Anna squealed, holding entirely too many plates of lefse. "Though a ride with a bunch of animatronics of me was a little weird."

"I thought it was cute," Jezebel mentioned. "Hey, should we pop over to America again? That Christmas candlelight celebration should be starting in a while, and anything that would get on my dad's nerves if he knew sounds like a good idea to me."

"Absolutely! I need to sit down!" Hime said, rubbing her leg. "Walking all this way hurts. Can we get one of those Christmas cookies they sell by the entrance?"

They showed up early enough for a half-decent seat at the Candlelight Procession, time to eat the cookies and Anna's Norwegian bread with the apple butter, and long conversations (and phone calls to everyone they knew; apparently, along with being able to call God, Hime's cell phone had a cross-dimension long distance plan). That was enough time to almost forget what they'd come for before the host was announced and cheered onto stage.

Three jaws dropped.

"Billy?" Anna gaped. "Or the Balladeer? Or..."

"I don't think it's either of them." Jezebel narrowed her eyes at the stage. "Unless the Balladeer got a human name we didn't hear about."

Hime slumped against the other two. "Don't tell me somebody made more of them. We're gonna have to phone someone about this, right?"

Anna shook her head and watched Neil Patrick Harris announcing. "I think we can wait a little bit and just have fun for a while."

[(Anonymous)]

When a cast member complains aloud about a minor inconvenience in their life, John Wilkes Booth suddenly appears to urge them to fix it by killing a President.

Bonus if it ends with the Balladeer appearing to chase him away with a broom.

[(Anonymous)]

The first time someone heard it, Heather was standing by a vent, examining her stage makeup.

"Ugh, I wish we had better stuff in here," she grumbled. "All the cold cream in the world at night isn't going to fix the oil field my face is turning into."

A voice came from the vent in the wall. "Why don't you kill the president?"

"For--" Heather jumped and looked around. Finding nobody, she shuddered and started to back away. "Even if I were out of here, what do I look like, some kind of loser? Someone already tried, do you not watch the news?" She turned around and grumbled. "It's bad enough being in this dump without hearing voices. Heather and Heather are not hearing about this."

-

An hour went by without incident until Raoul and Eliza went into the costume shop to search for clothes.

"If only these were properly labelled," he muttered, sorting through things and putting some away with disgust. "And that we had fewer, er, horrifying options like that arm monstrosity from last week."

"Bad fashion, huh?" That was definitely not Eliza's voice from the shadows. "Why don't you cut to the root of the problem? As long as you're here to kill somebody, it might as well be a president!"

Raoul stiffened and looked towards the dark corner. "Excuse me, what?"

Eliza tore past him right away, one of the arm thing's thneed offspring in hand. "Show yourself right this minute!"

She marched to the shadows and flung off the tarp, to reveal... nothing?

"The fiend has found some way to vanish," Raoul said with a scowl. "We should report this to the others."

"Yes... yes, you're quite right." Eliza dropped the tarp and thneed with a defeated sigh. "I just want to know what he means. There certainly aren't any presidents here of anywhere."

-

Gossip about the mysterious voice was starting to spread, but it hadn't yet reached the men's washroom, where Billy Harris was blissfully ignorant singing in the shower.

"Wishing we had our own bathrooms here,
Wanting more than cheap-ass soap..."

Another voice piped in from apparently nowhere.

"Hey, there, lookalike Lee,
you know what you oughta do
Kill a president and baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaathe..."

"GAH!" Billy covered himself with his hands. The bar of fifty-cent soap fell and went sailing down the hall. "Who's there!?"

All that followed was laughter. Billy screamed and high-tailed it out of the shower.

-

A knock came to the box office door and the Balladeer ushered his guest in. "Oh, Hans! What brings you here?"

Hans quickly shut the door behind him, looked up at the vent, and sighed. "I'd like to say this is just a regular chat, but it's about the motive."

"Motive?" The Balladeer tilted his head up to see what was so interesting about the vent; nothing, apparently. "But I didn't give a motive yet this week. Management hands them down on Tuesdays, something about giving the audience a convenient schedule."

Hans turned to the Balladeer. "Then he isn't our motive?"

The Balladeer stopped where he was. "Wait. He? He who?"

"...You should come see this."

-

Hans opened the box office door and led the Balladeer out into pure chaos in the lobby. Heather was holding her head and muttering something while Astarte gave tentative shoulder pats, Raoul and Eliza were pointing swords at air vents, and the Pirate King was trying to climb up onto one of the chandeliers.

"Okay, time out!" The Balladeer held both of his hands up. "What's going on in here?"

Hime pointed to the Merchandise Booth and whined. "I just got mad that I got more useless stuff when I wanted my chicken, and the voice in there told me to kill the president! I don't even think we have a president! President of what?"

The Balladeer facepalmed with both hands. "Booth."

Hans raised his eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"You don't want to know." He put his hands down and grabbed the nearest broom. "I'm going to deal with this. Everybody just, just calm down."

At that moment, seven people cried out and covered their faces as Billy Harris, still butt naked and soaking wet, ran screaming through the lobby.

"...on second thought," the Balladeer said, trying not to notice that his double really was an exact match. "Calming down might be hard."

Anna opened her fingers a crack over her eyes to watch as Billy realized that he was surrounded by people, froze, and ran screaming again in the other direction.

[(Anonymous)]

Billy and the Balladeer switch again for old time's sake. Up to you whether Hans and Anna notice or not.

notOP

[(Anonymous)]

but it would be even better if they have a bet on whose partner notices first or whether anyone catches on at all

[(Anonymous)]

The entire cast is inside a My Immortal-style fanfic. The Balladeer is the only one who realizes.

[(Anonymous)]

hi my name iz Emilia Giselle Sakura Worthingtonworth (im named after my mother who died trajicalyl in a accident and i have been crying evry day for my entire life........ i was born just as she died in the bus train and did not stop crying since then) and this is the tale of how i went to the opera that would change my life/.///////!!!!!!!

"Whoa, okay, slow down!" The Balladeer held his hands up and took control of the narrative. "Where did you come from? I don't remember getting a memo that we'd be starring in a self-insert fanfic."

xcus me this iz my story!!

"Erm... sorry?" He raised his eyebrows and sat back to see where this went.

neway after that RUDE intrupduction one day i wuz crying in my home were i liv alone bcuz my dad left as soon as my mother dyed and bcame a bilionarie on jeopardy. he sends me money every week so i was raised by the tv insted of my parents and also he pays the taxes on my mansion so i dont hav to worry about that (so there if you were going to leave mean comments that dis is unrealistic its not!!!!).. i was crying and i got the mail thinking maybe it was money from my father. it was not it was a picshure of a bunch of ppl and on was a HOTT GUY!!!

"...I'm afraid to ask."

(a/n da hot guy is judas bcuz i lik anna and dont want 2 steal her bf + the guy who looks lik him just tryed 2 take the story back so not him and al the other guys in this show r UGLIES so he is the only 1 wos left)

The Balladeer groaned. "I'm not telling him about this."

NEWAY on da bak it sed "com 2 da opera hous for a fun game PS definitly not murder like ur mother got murdered" . i cryd becas my mom was ded and then i thought. my mom dyed in an axident right?? or was it............ MURDER????????? dis had to be solvd! so i got all my nice clothes and i wore my favrit dress which was black and had lace and stars on it but like the witch stars not cute stars becas i am sad all the time and also i have magikck. also i wore a ded flower in my hair and skeleton tights and combat boots but like pretty ones that made me look hot.

"I can't even begin to count the things wrong with this," the Balladeer groaned, stepping back into the story. "So you got a pamphlet inviting you to a murdergame?"

shhhhhhhhhhhh dont spoiler it!!!!!!!

"...that wasn't-- what else could you possibly be invited into a murdergame setting with an obvious baiting question and photos of murdergame characters for."

o NOW u tell me mr. narator man. watever i'm going go keep writing this. HATERS SUX R&R LEAVE COMENTS good coments IN THE COMMENTS BELOW. ♥ only sad hearts bc i am sad and death!!

[(Anonymous)]

Valjean and Javert each left some unfinished business in their worlds. Now they (with Eliza or others) are going to save the lives of Jackman!Valjean and Mann!Javert.

[(Anonymous)]

I cant believe eliza hamilton has four boyfriends

[(Anonymous)]

Post-round Elsa becoming increasingly exasperated by these new people/Anna's boyfriend Anna brought from the Opera house.

[(Anonymous)]

OBLIGATORY POST-MURDERGAME POKEMON ADVENTURES! Since there aren't any Pokemon characters here, maybe B accidentally warps people to Alola or something? I don't care how it happens, Pokemon time

[(Anonymous)]

While her best friend and husband were liberating the contents of the Merchandise Booth and the others were raiding their own rooms, Anna had been the first to volunteer and was now helping the Balladeer clean out the Leading Player's office.

"Thanks for helping with this, Anna. Even if the old crew took most of the stage down, it's a lot of work to strike a set this big."

Anna wasn't clear on all the terms that the Balladeer was using yet, but that one seemed pretty straightforward in context. "No problem," she said, packing up boxes and pointedly avoiding the trunk where Judas's skeleton used to be. "We can't just leave all these things sitting here."

The Balladeer made a face at the collection of presidential assassin merchandise and scooped it up to drop into the recycle. "That's true enough. Some of this is giving me the creeps, and can you imagine all the food that would go bad if we weren't sending so much home with you after we go out to that diner?"

Anna smiled and glanced at the computer screen, which was currently showing a security camera feed of Seymour packing up Audrey's memorial. "Hey, can I see the computer for a second? I've never used one before."

The Balladeer almost said something, paused, and let out a small breath. "I guess it's mine to let you use now, anyway. Just, uh, do me a favour and don't touch anything marked 'Dreamwidth layout' or anything that looks like admin tools. I don't know how to fix that yet if it breaks."

Anna pouted for a split second, then gave a shrug, sat down, and started clicking through the open programs. After a few poor choices (the Balladeer didn't look, but he definitely heard "Oh, ew, dead presidents" and "Was he seriously smelling that jacket?"), Anna moved over to some kind of note document.

"Audience Reactions?" she asked herself. "That sounds... better. Maybe."

The Balladeer sighed with what was hopefully relief at not having to ask why Hans had apparently been caught smelling his jacket. He thought for a second, though, and his eyes widened. "Anna, are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Look, it's not even about us. It's all about those previous shows she was talking about before!" Anna said, half fascinated and half horrified. "Wow... I don't even know the people this is talking about, but -- hey, B? What's a Pokémon?"

The Balladeer came up beside her. "I've never seen one in person, but they're intelligent creatures that live in a cluster of similar worlds and often compete in battles, contests, and other performances for fun and sport. Why?"

"Because you mentioned the word in the trial, and look!" She pointed to a phrase on the screen. "It says, 'I'll bet the audience wants a tragic or bittersweet ending after all that happiness. If they come for the death and suffering, why do they stay for everyone alive at the end in a fluffy little found-family Pokémon AU every time?' I think this is why she did it."

The Balladeer looked at the screen, pained. "The Leading Player... I thought she was nice, but she didn't understand in the end, did she? Everyone works so hard for happy endings because they want to earn them, no matter how much suffering came beforehand."

Anna thought about this. "So a Pokémon is part of a happy ending for these games..." She turned in the chair and smiled up at the Balladeer. "Do you think we could see one?"

He thought for a moment. "As long as we keep Seymour away from the Carnivines, I don't actually see why not."

And so, about a month down the road, the entire group and their loved ones were sitting outside around a campfire with huge, decorated palm trees, exchanging presents as Pikipek flew by.

"How do those birds fly with such large heads?" Raoul asked as he looked out at a flock eating seeds.

"I wish I knew," replied Billy Arendelle, but he was already running calculations in his head about it as some of the younger actors were petting a litter of Pichu that had wandered curiously up to them.

Anna snuggled the white Vulpix sitting confused on her lap. She looked up at the Balladeer, who was studying the Christmas palm tree and occasionally narrating nicer ornaments onto it.

"Thanks for bringing us all here," she said.

"Oh!" The Balladeer turned to her with his usual disarming grin. "It's no problem. I just thought maybe you were right about this being an important part of a happy ending."

"Maybe, maybe not." Anna laughed. "But it's a new experience for all of us! That's important enough, right?"

He didn't even need to think that one over before he agreed.

[(Anonymous)]

Most of our couples have never even really been in a relationship before: give me first fights. Give me the other cast members having to counsel both halves of the couple when the relationship is inevitably not perfect all the time forever. It can be about whoever: Billyanna, Hansadeer, Seymour/Winslow, Jezebel/Natalie.

Also are there portmanteau names for Seymour/Winslow and Jezebel/Natalie? I propose Winsmore, screw spelling, and Jezalie.

Natabel fill because why not

[(Anonymous)]

"It's the groceries," Natalie groans with her head in her hands.

Anna's eyebrows raise, but she moves closer to her friend on the couch and looks sadly at her. "The groceries?"

"Yes." Natalie sighs. "I know it's stupid. I get that, and I get that she was a princess and raised in literal, actual Hell and the look on her face when she tries something new still makes me feel a little... I don't know, happy, some corny shit like that. But the novelty has to wear off some time, and I guess that, for me, that time is when we're barely making rent and bills as it is and she comes home with five different boxes of ice cream bars we can't even fit in the freezer at the same time."

Anna nods. She can't relate either, and Natalie knows that, knows she'd be on Jezebel's side if anything, but Natalie is her best friend. That's what friends do, isn't it?

If Natalie's thought of that, and she thinks of everything, she doesn't say it. She keeps on instead. "So I go, 'I'm a student, Jez! I work part-time at the campus library fielding questions about how to turn on a computer when some idiot messed with the settings! We don't have money to burn on every little thing you want to try!' One thing led to another, and... maybe I said some awful things. I'm kind of like that, remember." Natalie sinks, face in her hands. "I doubt she even wants to talk to me now."

Anna hovers her hand over Natalie's shoulder for a second before she finally goes to rub her back, unsure but consoling.

"...What do I do, Anna?" Natalie asks. "Jezebel... she drives me up the wall, but I love her, like actually love her. That's a pretty huge thing for me. If I just fucked it all up beyond repair over ice cream bars, I deserve whatever I get."

Anna gives a thoughtful hum. "We could try finding her to talk to her. I know she's always thinking of you, Natalie. Believe me, it's hard when you don't know what you're messing up, and she probably realizes where you're coming from too now."

"Says the lady with the perfect relationship," Natalie says.

Anna laughs a little. "Believe me, I thought there was such a thing as a perfect relationship. We've had arguments too. There was... kind of a thing after you died. Stabbing the wall of the men's washroom was involved."

"You're shitting me."

"I wish." Anna goes red.

Natalie sighs and sits up. "Guess there's only one thing left to do. Call the former Hell Princess, current regular girl, and hopefully still-current girlfriend." She digs in her purse for her phone. "I hope she listens."

"I know she will," Anna says, smiling with relief already.